My story is a long one and I share it because I truly believe we can learn and heal from one another, so this is my journey from menarche through perimenopause. Enjoy!
I was 10 almost 11 when I first got my period and I thought I was dying. The extent of what I knew about a period was what I learned from the Cosby show when Rudy got her period and was celebrated by all her sisters and mother and Dr. Huxtable. (I tagged a snippet of the video below) Sadly, mine was not celebrated. It was ignored and on the first day of my period I actually had to go play basketball in a hot gym with a big old pad on that my grandma had to coach me how to apply it all while hanging on to a corded landline telephone phone. Yes, it was in the 1900’s, 1994 to be exact!
As soon as I started cycling I began to become plagued by migraines. I went to numerous doctors appointments, had an EEG performed and was given multiple medications- including blood pressure meds which tanked my blood pressure and SSRI’s to help during an “episode”. My grandma would slather Vicks on my forehead and put a hot washcloth over my eyes and make me sleep next to a bucket just incase I threw up. In all honesty, that helped more than the drugs.
At the age of 14, I got on birth control because my periods were very heavy, I was extremely active in sports and they told me it would help with the migraines. I didn’t question the doctor and frankly I think my mom was worried I’d become pregnant, so nothing was mentioned after the appointment. Quite honestly I don’t think she even came in the room with me so I have no idea how the doctor could even write the prescription without talking to her but she did. Little did I know I would pay the price years later in life.
After 10 years of on and off birth control use, trips to the ER for ovarian cysts, gut issues and frequent migraines I ended up getting diagnosed with PCOS and “possible endometriosis.” I was told there was nothing I could do about either one except to keep trying different birth controls and “new medications” to see if one would be the answer to my prayers.
8 years after dating my high school sweetheart I got married at 22 and decided I was done with birth control. We are catholic and were required to do a 2 day intensive learning about Natural Family Planning(NFP) prior to getting married. I had no idea what I was doing nor did I honestly feel that the education was complete or helped me identify when I was fertile and when I wasn’t. Looking back there were lots of gaps, only regular cycles were covered and I had PCOS, and many regulations mostly because of the church, didn’t resonate well with me. But a year after we were married I went off birth control and became unintentionally pregnant after I was told it would take years to achieve.
Three pregnancies and two living children later I got an IUD for fear that the doctors put into me after I had my son. That’s another story that I may or may not share. After the IUD placement, the migraines got worse and so did all of my symptoms of PCOS. Not to mention, I had terrible postpartum depression at 10 months postpartum along with 3-4 migraines a month. I knew something had to change. When we decided we were done having babies, my husband agreed to get a vasectomy. I then went on the search for finding some help because my PCP and my OB just kept gaslighting me by telling me everything was normal and that the symptoms I was having were common things that happened after having a baby or getting older -insert eye roll.
After searching for other alternatives, I came across The Well’s FAM and fell in love with the way Sarah taught as well as her take on the method. It was so far from the two days training I had learning NFP that I actually went in blind applying for her program thinking I should have learned what I was learning from her course in nursing school years ago. I was 1 of 15 students out of around 70 applicants that got into her program and haven’t looked back. Before starting her program I had my IUD removed and went on a personal journey of healing myself both from my depression, PMDD, PCOS, Hypothyroid issues, gut dysbiosis and migraines. I was able to work with amazing practitioners because I knew what and who to search for. I have been hormone free for almost 4 years and have found comfort in charting my cycles for my own health. I have almost reversed my PCOS, decreased my migraines and grown more confident in my charting practice. My thyroid issues have almost reversed and I’m still working on the gut but hey, you can’t fix everything at once.
If I could go back to my 10 year old self I would have celebrated her. I would have searched for more answers and solutions for my 14 year old self. My college self, who was living in survival mode, would have learned better self care and more nutrition support. My newly married self would not have feared pregnancy and would have cherished an intentional pregnancy. My postpartum self would have asked for more help and rest. And now to my perimenopausal self, I see you. I know what to expect and how to support my self through this new transition of life all because I learned to chart my cycles and became more embodied by practicing body literacy. It is truly a gift to have had all these experiences and while I may look back and want to do things differently, I now am able to have these lived experiences to share with you in hopes that you can learn from them.
If you can relate to any of this or would like guidance along your journey, I would love to be the person to walk along side you.
Just for funsies, here is a small clip from The Cosby Show that I was talking about. Enjoy!
